so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
