I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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