I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
