enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
