It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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