filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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