If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
