Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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