Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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