A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
