The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
