Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
