Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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