just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
