i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
