your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
