I want to make a zoo with you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
