I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
