she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
