You really coming over, don't trick.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
