dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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