She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
