It's just like the Real World with babies
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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