If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
