you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
