her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
