She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
