And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
