what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
