i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
