My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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