her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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