is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
