i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She said her name was "party"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
