Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
