I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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