i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
