I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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