so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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