Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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