like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't deserve a penis
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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