Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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