Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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