I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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