Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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