You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Ladies don't puke and tell
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
