I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
