1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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