I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
