I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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