I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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