I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
