why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
